So, a lot happened this week. As can probably be told by the title, none of anything that happened this week has any connection. It was a bunch of separate days with separate adventures. Shall we begin?
To start at the beginning, on Tuesday we went to help Artyom (Lyuba's son who was baptized in April) with some things around the house, because he and his mom are pretty short and I, as you know, am not. These things were pretty normal, changing the lightbulbs, helping him with some English pronunciation questions, hanging out of a 3rd story window to tie new lines up for drying laundry. Normal. It was a ton of fun though, even though it took pretty much all day to do everything we neededand travel around. We had to wait about an hour for transport to his house because of roadwork that's going on. He gave me a couple of ties and a Russian illustrated encyclopedia.
Wednesday was actually normal, believe it or not. English practice was really good.
Thursday we went to Camelot like normal. That was a good time. Afterwords, while we were in the car with Oleg (The husband of the lady who runs Camelot. He normally gives us a ride home if he's not busy.), he turned on some music. At first it was the Imperial March, but Darth Vader didn't seem to be giving Oleg good vibes that day, so he grabbed the remote for his sound system and switched it up a little bit. After a moment or so of silence, this pretty sweet, heavy jam started playing on a guitar that was tuned way too low. Then some drums joined in and it got even better. I looked back at Elder Downing and grinned. Oleg saw it, grinned too, laughed a bit, and then turned it up some. I was enjoying it, and then I thought "man, this is good. I hope the voice isn't weird and screamo, that would ruin it.". This is when the unexpected happened. The voice was weird. It was also Finnish. We were sitting in a car in Kharkov with our Ukrainian friend listening to Finnish Death Metal. This experience probably made me happier than it should.
We talked with him about Finnish and his desire to learn Finnish once he's finished learning English. It was a good ride home.
On Friday we went out to try and see if we could find people who wanted help quitting smoking, because the church has a good free program for that, and there are lots of people who smoke here and quite a few want to quit. To our surprise, we found not one single person smoking on the streets that day, a rare occurance. We did however see a lot of Ladas. A Lada is a type of car. It's old, it's Soviet, and Elder Downing and I realized that we just really like them for some reason. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of ugly Ladas out there, and none of them have good inner-workings. But, if you took one for the body, replaced the engine and transmission, then painted it, it'd make a pretty cool, unique little car. If you did it right you could make it into a muscle car. Almost. They're a bit small. It'd be more of a muscle midget.
Anyway, long story short, we both want to come back to Ukraine someday in the not-so-close future, buy a Lada each, then drive it out of through Europe and find a way to get them to America, be it by ferry or shipping company, so that we can make them into nice vehicles.It's probably just a pipe dream, and it may not be super likely to happen, but it'd make a fantastic adventure, and it's a fun idea.
English Practice was good that night.
On Saturday, we received a surprise call from President Sullivan. Turns out, Elder Downing is getting transferred! To Novy Doma. He's going to be with Elder Fuller, because appearantly he's destined to only serve with other Texans. He will be missed, and a selection of quotes from our time together will be placed at the bottom of this email in his memory. As always, context will not be provided.
What will become of me, you ask? I'm going to be in a tri-panionship. Again. This time, I will be with Elder Cannon and Elder Mayberry. If that's not the plot twist of the century, I don't know what is.
Well, that about sums up life for the moment. This was a long email.
Peace!
Elder Robison
"Refried beans: the national fruit of Texas."
-Elder Downing
"Corn is holy to me."
-Elder Robison
"You can't just hiss at your problems and expect them to go away!"
-Elder Robison
"You sound like Morgan Freeman with a sinus infection."
-Elder Robison
"There's something so satisfying about wearing a dead animal on your head."
-Elder Downing
"I'm a potato kind of guy."
-Elder Robison
"---What's in these beans?
--- The blood of the chupecabra."
-Elder Downing
"The family that burns trash together, stays together."
-Elder Robison
"But Короче, I got us a limo."
-Elder Robison
"This milk tastes like udder sweat."
-Elder Downing
"Those guys are nerds! Lets start cooking the chicken without them."
-Elder Robison
"People do weird things to get with me."
-Elder Robison
"I feel like someone started a volcano inside of me. Not in my heart, in my GI tract."
-Elder Downing
"'I mean this from the bottom of my heart; fig you.' - Elder Anderson"
-Elder Downing
"Ooo, the caustic double tazer fig!"
-Elder Robison
Elder Downing --- I'm gonna need a published source on that.
Elder Robison --- I'm about to publish my foot up your butt.
"As your friend, I recommend not to drink bleach."
-Elder Downing
"Yeah, it helps when your hands are the size of small bald eagles."
-Elder Downing
*Looks around for a weapon to defend himself*
*Realizes he can kill Elder Robison with his bare hands*
*Looks back at Elder Robison*
*Smiles*
-Elder Downing
Elder Robison --- This is the last time you'll get sick... cuz you'll die.
Elder Downing --- it's like a бабушка blessing!
"I have the cheese AND the knife. I have ALL the power in this situation."
-Elder Robison
"--- What kind of dog do you want?
--- Uh, do you know anything that can wield a halberd?"
-Elder Downing
"TBH: tuberculosis happens."
-Elder Robison
"I don't want your pity ramen!"
-Elder Robison
"If life weren't so hilarious, I'd be pissed off."
-Elder Robison
"You can't eat cheese while paranoid. Cheese is supposed to be a joyful activity."
-Elder Robison
"Я вам скажу: #@!*!"
- The бабушка at the milk truck outside our house
"There's a path. What's the path? We left the mayo out..."
-Elder Downing
"Sinnnhuleuaboopa."
-Elder Robison
Elder Downing --- Why's peanut butter so good?
Elder Robison (from the other room) --- Because black people made it!
"Russian: the only language where there's a fine difference between 'printed' and 'sorrow'"
-Elder Downing
"If you keep the Sabbath day holy, you'll get buffer"
-Elder Robison
"Chicken as matter."
-Elder Downing
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