Week 4

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

For real this time! Ukrainians celebrate New Year's on the right day! It's kind of bad though, because it means there's going to be a lot of drunk people. Like, an unimaginable amount of intoxicated Ukrainians will be filling the streets after 5 O'clock this Thursday. Even more than the usual amount that are out on the streets anyway. We're not allowed to go out and contact with people after 5 O'clock, because it's going to be that bad. So that's fun!

I spent the majority of this last week with Elder Montgomery because Elder Ditty was in Днепропетровск. I'm not sure, but I think I've spent enough time with Elder Montgomery to fill an entire transfer, so I'm not sure if I should count him as having been one of my companions while on my mission. I think he'll at least be added to the honorable mentions list. Of course, I still have a lot of time left on my mission. We could end up being official companions at some point with how few people are in our mission! I also have a good chance of serving with Elder Fuller again, which would not be the most exciting thing I've ever done...

So, somehow we ended up with 2 new investigators last week! We met both of these people while visiting a less active member in our branch. It was pretty crazy! Totally unexpected! Especially since one of them agreed to be baptized! We thought they were going to come to church, but neither of them came. Hopefully this week!

On a side note, I made fried chicken on Christmas Eve! I made some waffle batter, floured some strips of chicken breast, battered them up, and fried them! They were delicious! Also, drank hot chocolate through Контик, highly recommended; made MANCAKES, which are like pancakes only 5 times more intense because you dip them in the batter 5 times; made lemon sherbet by total accident, I won't say how; and we made chicken fajitas, which we ate on pieces of fry bread for extra deliciousness!

On Christmas we got to Skype our families, which was awesome! It was even more awesome because I had just barely received a Christmas package from my Mom literally 10 minutes before the call. I got to open presents with my family! Technology is awesome, high-five for technology!

I'm not sure what else I can say, other than this week is about to get cold. It's going to drop from 55 today, all the way down to 33 tomorrow... and then it's going to keep on dropping... So that's about 10 pounds of nope in a 5 pound bag.

Peace out! Don't freeze!

Elder Robison

MERRY CHRISTMAS (week 3)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

IT'S CHRISTMAS!

IN UKRAINE!

NO ONE CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS HERE UNTIL JANUARY 7th BECAUSE OF RUSSIAN ORTHODOX CHRISTIANITY!

YAY!

So, yeah, totally Christmas here, and it hasn't snowed yet. In fact, the weather is going to hover around 50 all week. Basically, I don't even get to see a white Christmas when I go to Ukraine. It's like I bring Texas weather patterns with me wherever I go...

I'm not entirely sure what happened this week. I feel like a lot happened, but then I realized that nothing happened. We went down to Николаев again (that's Nikolaev for those who aren't familiar with the Cyrillic Script) for a zone conference. A 2 day zone conference. It was super good, I learned a ton from it!

We have an investigator who we're currently working with to help him to baptism. He's super cool, he has a good testimony and comes to church almost every Sunday. His only problem is that he can't quit smoking. It's really sad, he's been meeting with the missionaries for years, he just can't quit smoking. He's a really great guy, and he has a really sweet family, and we just really have to help him get past this so his wife will have more reason to get baptized and then they'll be able to be sealed together as a family for all eternity! It will be so здорово, we just have to help him with his smoking!

He's basically our only investigator right now. We can go ahead and call him Саша, because literally every other person is called Саша, so there's no way of identifying who he is.

I'm not even joking about the whole Саша thing. EVERYONE is named Саша (The short form of Александр), Сергей, Владимир, Богдан, or Виктор. And all of the women are named Наташа (Short form of Наталья), Ирина, Оксана, Лена (Short form of Елена), or Алина. It's also possible to run into Тамила, Мария, and Людмила, but they're a little rarer.

Something that I'm realizing that I've forgotten to share with you all is Супер Контик (Super Kontik). Imagine an Oreo, but with vanilla cookies. Now imagine it was bigger, say 3-4 times as large. Now, cover the entire thing in chocolate so that is has a nice chocolate shell. Now you have a Супер Контик!

They're amazing, I don't even know how to describe them! Basically, the eating procedure is as follows:

1. Take the Контик and find a small hole in the chocolate shell. If there is no hole, take a small bite into the Контик, not too deep. There may be multiple holes, which will prove to be difficult for the rest of the eating process.

2. On the exact opposite side of the Контик from where you found or made the hole, bite a small hole into the Контик, again, not too deep.

3. Get a shallow bowl or saucer and fill it with milk.

4. Use the Контик as a straw to drink the milk.

If you do everything correctly, you should be able to drink quite a bit of milk before the Контик collapses in the center, leaving you with a delicious, milk soaked, chocolately cookie to enjoy.

But odds are, you'll never find Контик back in the states, so you'll never know their joy. For this I am sorry.

Anyway, Merry Christmas again! I'm going to be spending this weekly mostly with Elder Montgomery because Elder Ditty is going to Днепропетровск for a training meeting and leaving me here in Херсон. I'll be sure to eat plenty of Контик because you guys can't!

Peace out!

Elder Robison

Week 2

Hello people!

This week I talked to a lot of people on the street! Well, Elder Ditty talked to a lot of people, and I stood close by and interjected where I could in my basic Russian... It was still really cool though! We never did that kind of thing in my old companionship, nobody would ever actually stop to talk with us before!

Elder Ditty is awesome! I was concerned he'd be a weirdy, but then he turned out to be a super weirdy, which is a good thing because it means that hilarious things are bound ot happen at any moment!

In other news, I cooked so much food this week! So. Much. And I didn't have to clean any of it up, because my companion took care of it! I cook, he cleans it up, we eat, everything is delicious, we talk to people about the Gospel in the cold Ukrainian streets. It's awesome!

District meeting was fun this week! There's a rule that 2 Elders can't be with 2 Sisters in the same place unless it's a public place, or there's another person present. It also can't look like any kind of date. This is all great until you realize that our district is currently 2 Elders... and 2 Sisters... Which works if you have a member to be with you! But none of our members would be with us...

Long story short, Elder Ditty and I sat outside of the Branch building and had the Sisters sit inside, and then we planned for about an hour or so in that configuration. To make things better, a homeless man came up to us and asked us if we were having a church service. But he was drunk, and we didn't trust him, so we gave him a card and sent him on his way. I'll see if I can put up a picture of our strange, strange, strange district meeting. So strange.

Other than that, I don't think much else has happened. I had to give a 5 minute talk on Sunday about repentance! In Russian! That was fun!

This weeks goals:

Learn Russian

Give at least ONE person a Book of Mormon onf the street

Eat good food

Don't get district meeting interrupted by random strangers

Talk to lots of random strangers

Peace out!

Elder Robison

Week 1!

Ha! You probably thought this was going to be Week 7! Well, it's not! I'm resetting the counter in honor of transfers!

Transfers!

My new companion's going to be Elder Ditty. He's coming down here to Kherson to serve as the new branch president. Which means that I'm probably going to be th enew branch seceratary! Woo!

I don't really know anything about Elder Ditty. At all. So, I guess I'll find out tomorrow!

Elder Riddle is probably on a bus as we speak, head back to Dnepropetrovsk so he can catch his plan back to America. He will be missed...

But, that means that I'm not doing the training program anymore! WOO!

I thought I was going to miss Elder Riddle a lot. Then, I got up to make breakfast and realized that he had eaten the last of the cereal, and drunk the last of the yogurt, which meant that we had no food left to eat for breakfast. Yeah, after that I didn't miss him as much for some reason...

On the bright side, I found that we had a lot of flour, baking soda, and a little bit of salt left. Using these humble ingredients, I was able to make TONS of Navajo fry-bread! TONS of it. The stack of finished bread was at the very least a foot or so high. It turned out pretty dense because we had baking soda instead of baking powder, but they were still delicious! We ate most of them, but I got the stuff to make more. I have a feeling that there's going to be a lot of fry-bread made on my mission from now on... A lot... Maybe even with baking powder if I can find some!

Yeah... Navajo bread in Ukraine... that's not something that I ever expected. What's more, my Ukrainian companion it! Of course, it's hard not to like Navajo bread.

On Friday last week we had to clean out the other apartment in our mission, becasue they're closing that one down. We totally looked like bums! We had tons of grocery bags, and we were carrying a twin-bed down the street! We had to take it all like 3 blocks down the street to our own apartment! It was hilarious!

Anyway, that's pretty much what's been happening down here! Up here? Out here.

Peace out!

Elder Robison

Week 6

So, this is my senior companion's final P-day! He's going home next week, and I get a new companion! It's gonna be pretty weird not having Elder Riddle around anymore. But, he has to go back to Utah and start living life, so I guess it's OK!

The weather changed really quickly on Tuesday, which absolutely killed me for a couple of days. I was glad I had ibuprofen with me!

We had shepherd's pie for Thanksgiving, which was delicious! Thanks, Dad!

I ended up in Nikolaev again last week, which was interesting. I think I've spent more time in Nikolaev than in Kherson at this point! It's pretty crazy. This time I was on a companionship exchange with my Zone Leader, Elder Shaha. Elder Shaha is going home next week too! Anyway, we went and contacted all day, got cussed at by a guy when we asked him how his day was going, got a really tastey chocolate bar called a "Lion" bar, and then I went back to Kherson.

Saturday, nothing really happened. I honestly don't remember what we did, all our appointments fell through and then we cleaned the branch building.

Then Sunday, the Mission President and his wife came down from Dnepropetrovsk in order to see what was going on at the branch and decide how many missionaries our branch could actually support. It was really nice to have them there, the meeting went very well. Still, it's stressful. We don't know what's going to happen here, or who's going to be staying here, or really anything at all.

So, that's basically the state of things here. Lots of things are happening, but we don't really know what those things are, and I don't know what they are especially because it's really hard to understand Russian. I am getting better at that, though, so there's always that to look forward to!

Also, the sun is shining today for the first time in like a week and a half! Which is really nice because the sun goes down at 4 O'clock anyway, so if it's cloudy it gets dark way too fast!

Peace out everyone!

Turns Out It's Week 5!

So, this week was traumatic!

I went back to the other city again this week, this time for the whole week. While we were there I was with Elder Montgomery and his companion. That is, until Elder Montgomery's companion was released for medical reasons and we were then left alone as two 19-year-old kids who have been in the country only 4 weeks and don't speak very good Russian and then told to go do missionary work. Yeah, that was fun...

It actually was super fun though, it's really cool to not have a senior companion around to solve your problems. Builds character. And stress. Lot's of stress.

The whole situation was rendered even funnier by the fact that in about two weeks, I'm probably going to have to train a new missionary! I'm going to have been here 6 weeks, and I'm going to have to teach someone else how to live in Kherson! And the best part? They're going to speak even less Russian than I do!

Just take a moment to appreciate how awesome that is. I'm so excited! It's going to be so much fun!

Anyway, Elder Montgomery is in the same boat, he's probably going to have to train too.

Sidenote, the food we made this week? All delicious!

Also, thanks to those who sent recipes. They will be much appreciated!

Cool thing, the sister missionaries here had a baptism on saturday right after we got back from Nikolaev! Super awesome!

Anyway, happy thanksgiving to all!

I Think It's Week 3!

Alright, so, do you remember how Ukrainians eat everything with ketchup and that ketchup isn't really ketchup it's just weird sauces? Well, I had a fun experience with that this week!

We were staying in another city for a couple of days for zone training, and the apartment we were in, the Elders there didn't have much food other than pasta and chicken. One of the Elders has some kind of medical issue, so he can basically only eat boiled chicken. So, we made boiled chicken and pasta. It was really nasty because it was super bland.

To solve this problem, Elder Montgomery, an Elder who came to the mission at the same time I did, offered me the ketchups from his fridge, to which my only response was, "Don't even ask, just bring it!"

So, Elder Montgomery handed me some sauce and said it was some kind of steak sauce. We couldn't read the packet because it was in Ukrainian, and the alphabet is different, and the words are weird. Anyway, I opened it up, and it smelled a lot like mustard. Like, very mustardy. It was super strong. I thought it smelled like the kind of mustard you might put on beef wellington, but I didn't think too much about it. It was pretty thick, but I poured a bunch out onto the pasta and took a huge bite.

I reallized once it touched my toungue that it was, in fact, exactly the kind of mustard one would make beef wellington with. Normally, only a little of this would be used, because it's basically pure mustard and it burns like all get out. I had just put a very large amount in my mouth. It was at that point that I realized I had only a few seconds left to live.

It was pretty hilarious just how spicy it was, it totally cleared my sinuses! It was also delicious, and highly recommended!

Basically, what I learned from this is that from now on I'm just going to put random ketchups on pasta and hope for similar discoveries, because that was super fun!

By the way, the pasta sauce I made? Delicious.

Not much else happened this week that was noteworthy, except for now we know without a doubt that a lot of the branch members resent us and also think that we're useless. So that's fun, because we're just going to keep working 14 hours every day to help them with their problems and strengthen their community and love for one another! I didn't come to the other side of the planet just to let them get in the way of me helping them. Nope, not happening! I had to learn Russian so I could even communicate with them, I'm not giving up just because they aren't willing to work with us!

It's going to be an interesting time here in Kherson!

P.S. if you know any recipes that would be really cheap and that can be made without a lot of equipment, please send them! They will be much appreciated! Also, send them with metric conversions (grams, liters, etc)

2 Week!

So, I'm in my second week now! Still don't understand Russian, so that's a thing. It's ok though, because if you smile and nod, or answer questions with "I don't know" and then quickly ask your companion, you generally are ok! I mean, I've made this far by doing that!

No, I speak a lot more than that. I actually am understanding a surprising amount! Sometimes it's totally guessing, but it's usually what they're looking for!

I went to a McDonald's on Thursday. That was interesting! It tastes like, a million and a half times better than any American McDonald's!

To give a sense of what the currency is like here, you can buy a Big Mac meal (Burger fries and drink, the whole deal) for about 56 Grievn (I don't know how to spell it in English, sorry). That means that it only costs about 2 dollars for the meal. It's pretty crazy. I bought a snickers the other day for about 7 Grievn.

On the plus side, this keeps me from spending too much money, because buying anything makes me feel like I've just spent too much because of how high the prices are. It's super weird the money that we have to carry with us sometimes.

Usually we just cook for ourselves. We've had Borsch, some sandwhiches, rice, pasta, french toast, mashed potatos. Interesting thing, Ukrainians eat literally everything with ketchup! Also, ketchup can refer to pretty much any sauce! So that's fun! I've gotten to eat macarroni with ketchup several times already. Elder Riddle says he's been doing that his entire mission. In response to this, I'm going to make some real pasta sauce for our apartment. We're picking the ingredients up today.

Also, Ukrainians don't understand how Americans make pizza. I had a pizza the other day that was supposed to be American. It had chicken, peppers, ham, and olives on it. It was delicious, like everything else I've had here, but it was definitely NOT Americana! Did I mention it was delicious? Because it was. Delicious. 10/9, would eat non-American American pizza again.

For anyone who wants it, I have a new mailing address. Word of warning, I don't know if it will get through to me. International shipping is sketchy. Also, packages are super expensive to send, so I don't recommend it.

Karla Marksa 27A 5th floor
Dnepropetrovsk,
49044
Ukraine

I would love to send some pictures, but I don't have an SD card reader, and we email from an internet cafe, so I don't know how I'd get those pictures onto the computer. Also, they would be primarily of food and long stretches of flat ground, because it's illegal to post pictures of Ukrainian citizens on the interwebs. So that's fun! Maybe the day will come when I can figure out how to send my pictures. Maybe. We shall see!

I am allowed to tell you about people though! We have one investigator who's a super cool 60 some-odd year-old guy! I shall name him Joe for you, because I don't know if I should mention people even by their first names. Better safe than deported/imprisoned/never-heard-from-again.

Anyway, Joe has a mustache and a really bad smoking problem. He's also hilarious! He seems to basically be an eternal investigator though, he doesn't wan't to let go of a lot of his Russian Orthodox habits and thoughts, but he also wants to continue to progress with us. It's interesting, but we're not sure how much longer we'll be able to teach him.

Other than him, we don't really have other investigators. We're searching though!

Jehovah's Witnesses are fun to talk to! Especially when they stop you in the street or try to interrupt your lessons so they Bible-bash you! It's even more fun when you don't understand what they're saying and your companions have to defuse the situation while you stand there, smiling and nodding and occassionaly bearing a testimony of the Book of Mormon.

See, that's the kicker! We don't Bible-bash, but the Jehovah's Witnesses really want to Bible-bash! They challenge you to it as if it were some kind of wizard's duel, like you're going to stand on opposing mountain tops and shout scripture at one another until someone's mountain crumbles! It's not true of all of them, most of them are just good people who are willing to let you go about your business and talk to the people who want to talk to you. But, as always, there are a few who make my day with their antics. It's fun, and confusing, and I don't know why it happens, but it does, and it amuses me!

Moral of the story: don't try to Bible-bash with Mormons. We don't like it, and it's not going to lead to anyhting positive. Actually, don't Bible-bash period. Just state what you believe in a humble and dignified manner without trying to prove one way or another. You'll turn out all right!

Peace out!

I... Have Arrived

I'm here! In Ukraine! I love it SO MUCH! I can't even describe the feeling of being here! At least not without a long reflective piece... which, of course, I will write, because I love that kind of thing!

Begin!

After nearly five days with maybe an hour or so of sleep each night, We landed in Austria, prepared to make the final leg of our journey to Ukraine. The weather was dreary, foggy and windy. We were surrounded by many Russian speakers. Some of the members of our traveling group were speaking very loudly in english, and they were attracting attention. I turned to one of my companions, and in Russian I whispere, "No more english! Don't speak in English! Not before we are in our homes in Ukraine!". He whispered back his agreement in Russian.

And, we boarded the small plane from the runway. Aboard, all the stewardesses spoke German, so I took the opportunity to speak with them a little in German. We soared above a vast see of white for a long time, the clouds appearing as if they were mountains of snow directly beneath us. It set in finally; we are almost in Ukraine.

The plane landed, and we exited the plane onto the runway. My first sight of Ukraine was of a soldier carrying an AK-47 close to his chest. His Russian smile seemed to say "Welcome to Ukraine."

And welcome I was. I could not describe my feelings upon seeing the flat ground which stretches in every direction here, the ground that is flatter than I have ever seen in my life. The only way to describe it would be to say that I felt as though I had been away from my home for longer than years could count, and I was finally returning. For this truely is a home to me now. I could not tell you how, or where, but I have seen all these places before now. I have seen these people hurrying in the streets and riding in the vans which serve as public transportation here. I have seen the trees which tower above me, and the ill-maintained buildings which tower over those. Truely, I have seen them before, but not known it somehow. Perhaps, only in my dreams.

I serve now in the city of Kherson, a place where the sea is nearby, colse enough to feel its infulence on life. This place calls out to my very soul in a way I do not understand. A way I cannot understand. I love this place and these people so dearly, yet I have only a limited ability to understand them, only a tiny glimpse into their hardships. Perhaps this is charity. Maybe the pure love of Christ, the Savior of the World, has found some place in my soul, a place where I can carry a small portion of it with me at all times. For the people of Ukraine, my very soul burns. All of my thought is bent on them. All of my time. Still, it is not enough.

Ok, that's good! That was nice! Cool, I dig it!

Anyway, the branch here is small. They are very understanding of my lack of language skills, and they do their best to help me learn. Sometimes. Sometimes, they forget that I don't speak Russian, or they forget just how little I understand. To hear a native speak Russian is entirely different to hearing an American speak Russian. You have to really, REALLY listen. Harder than you've ever listened before. Even doing that will only get you  a few words here and there.

But, I will learn. With time, I will learn.

My companion is Elder Riddle, and this is his final transfer. He's been here 2 years already, so he speaks very well. With his help, and with the help of our branch president, who is a native Ukrainian missionary from Kiev, I will learn quite quickly.

Anyway, I hope this answers at least some questions you may have!

Good luck everyone!

The Terminus

This is the end. No more MTC. My final P-Day in the USA.

So.

Awesome.

I'm getting out of here!! Finally, getting out of here and going to Ukraine! I can't believe it! We're flying to Chicago, then to Vienna, Austria. Then we head straight to Dnepropetrovsk! It's my last few days in the States!

I'm very happy to announce that we learned how to tell people where the lobster hibernates in Russian.

"Я покожу тебе где раки зимуют!" 

I say this all the time now. So much fun! I even managed to combine it with the whales saying:

"Я покожу тебе, что Земля не стоик на трёх китах!"

(I'll show you that the Earth doesn't stand on three whales!)

I love Russian. It's. Awesome.

We Skyped a Russian member. He was pretty cool, he played guitar like me! Rock guitar! We told him that we're going to Ukraine, and he was like, "You know that there is war there right now? They told you that?" (He was speaking english here). We were like, "Yeah, no, we know". And then he was like, "You'll be fine, just be obedient to all your rules and you will be fine.". He was super cool. We liked him.

I can't really think of too much else that has happened to us this week. I spoke a lot of Russian. That's about what's happened to us. We leave on Tuesday.

So. Yeah. Short letter this week I guess.

Here's us on FLIPPING CHRISTMAS! One of the older zones left, and they gave us ALL of their food. We call this day, MTC Christmas. I'm holding an apple that was very delicious!

​Here's us outside of the temple on our final P-Day as District 22J

                                       (Anderson, Bolingbroke, ME, Fuller, Wilson, Pingry, Clark, Jensen, Arave)

So, the other day, I walk into my room at night, and I find that somebody has left a yellow sticky note on my pillow. It was a verse from the Book of Mormon. It was written in Russian. At the bottom they wrote "You're the MAN Elder Robison". I looked up the verse in English, Alma 7:12. It's all about how Christ came to earth so he could take upon himself death.

Picture!

From left to right:

Elder Arave (He's an amazing Pianist), 

Elder Jensen (An awesome baker), 

Elder Wilson (He's from Nevada), 

Elder Clark (He's from Minnesota... He's really sassy. All the time, just on the inside usually), 

Sister Allred (one of our teachers), 

Brother Grover (another of our teachers), 

Sister Andersen (She's Danish), 

Sister Bollingbroke (She's pretty much legally insane), 

Elder Pingry (He's from Sugar City, Idaho, where sweet things grow), 

Elder Fuller (My companion... I hate that guy!), 

Elder Babcock (He's no longer with us)...

I'm not sure who that guy on the end is though... Looks like a weirdie if I ever did see one!

We all decided that we would wear red and call it Allred day. Because our teacher's name is Allred. We're clever here in District 22J. Brother Grover's tie is red, it just looks like it isn't. We let him know via text that we were doing it, and he just so happened to be dressed right for it.

That's the district! We all love each other! Except for me and Elder Fuller. There is no love there.

Week 7'ish

So, this week... really crazy!

We just bumped up our Russian studies... like by a million-fold. It's insane! I've been speaking so much Russian! I love it though, my companion is finally really devoted to studies now. Plus, I can always talk to my teachers. It's super funny to talk to the new missionaries in Russian, they just kind of look at you and pretend that they understand what you're saying. It's not mean, it's helping them learn!

We lost a member of our district on Saturday. He had a lot of medical issues and is now on a temporary medical release. He will return to missionary service once he's healthy again. What's weird is, there are ten of us in the district, so we kind of payed tithing. In a weird, sad way. Super sad weekend, but we ain't got time for sadness!

У нас нет времини за грустность!

So, we got another new teacher, Brother Storey. He's super awesome. He majored in Russian once he got back from a Russian mission in like 2005. He's super good, and he's a great teacher.

All of our teachers are great, we love them.

My companion was called as district leader on Sunday, and I don't have a calling still. Sort of a good thing, because I need all the time I can get my hands on to study the language! I do get to bless the sacrament this Sunday though. In Russian!!

FUNNY RUSSIAN SAYINGS TIME!!

Apparently, something a Russian might say if they would be saying "I'll show you!" in English, they would say "I'll show you where the lobster hibernates!"

They might also say something like, "Земля не стоик на трёх китах", which translates to, "The Earth doesn't rest on three whales". Don't ask me where it comes from, I don't know. I don't even know in what case someone would say this. It is, however, awesome! I love Russian!

I talked to the Ukrainian speaking missionaries that came in last week, thinking that I would be able to use the 5 Ukrainian words I know. I asked all 4 of them how they were doing, and not one of them understood me. Needless to say, I was saddened to my very soul. They've gotten better though, and they've started to teach me a little Ukrainian! I don't trust it at all, but it's still cool!

Funny convo between me and my companion

Him: "I hate you."

Me: "Yeah, pretty much. Me too."

Him: "You're going to my wedding, right?"

Me: "Totally! Why wouldn't I?"

Him: "I do NOT understand our relationship AT ALL!"

Me: "Я тоже! Are you even gonna get married? You'll be too old when you get back!"

"Shut up! I'm not too old!"

"It's OK, I'm gonna be too bald! You'll be too old, I'll be too bald, and neither of us will be able to speak English anymore!"

And then we laughed for like 5 minutes. I don't have any idea what to make of this, but now, every night before bed, he says "Я тебя ниневидю, Старейшина Робисон! (I hate you Elder Robison)", to which I respond, "Я тоже! (Me too!)"

We're best friends.

Well, that's pretty much it for now. We're almost out of here! Almost! 

I Think It's Like Week 6. Something Like That

Pretty sure it's week 6. Don't quote me on it.

So, I think that something happened that deserves to be noted: The letter Q is stupid. This is a true statement. The other day, I was trying to write "quickly", but it's been such a long time since I've had to write much in English that I didn't know what letter to start with. Then I remembered that it starts with 'q', but this caused another problem; I couldn't remember what 'q' looks like! There is no 'q' in Russian. There isn't even something that looks like 'q' in Russian. 

Upon realizing that 'q' still existed, I was also reminded that 'q' is one of the most useless letters in English. You can't even use 'q' if you don't slap a 'u' right next to it! Who's idea was this? Why not just make a character that is the sound of 'qu' and avoid having such a ridiculous rule?

The moral of this story is, 'q' is a pitiful letter. I can see why I forgot about it so fast. I can't believe I had to be reminded of it.

Second moral: Russian is really specific and thorough, and we should all learn to speak it because it's super cool.

In other news, more Russian!

Хорошо, поэтому, я и мой друг Старейшена Кларк поговорим друг друга, а мы будем говорить свой язык всегда! Наши сёстры тоже говорить свой язык! Это очен класный!

Anyway, we're almost done at the MTC! Just a couple more weeks, and we'll be on our way to Ukraine! Much excited!

It's awesome. Except, I still can't speak Russian. So that's a thing.

I got my key back! Finally!

Also, General Conference was awesome! I loved the talk that Elder Jefferey R. Holland gave! It was great!

Покой!

---Week 6 Plus

I forgot to mention that I learned a little bit of Ukrainian the other night! It's really weird! I want to learn it really badly! But, first I'm going to learn Russian. That's probably a good idea.

And Now, Week 5

So, let me start week five by saying something I forgot to include in Chapter 4: We ate 73 bowls of Frosted Flakes. In one sitting. It. Was. Awesome. We got another district (so there were 20 of us in total) and we just kept filling bowls until the cereal reservoir was empty. Then, we ate all of the bowls. But I was still hungry, so I also grabbed a hamburger. And before anyone asks, no, I still haven't gained a pound!

OK, on to this week! Everyone in my district is dying! Like, everyone. They're all sick with pink eye, stomach flu, colds, ear infections. It's really sad, they're always having to go to the medical desk. Our classroom is so empty sometimes.

Russian rant time!

Поэтому мой округ думают это очен странный, что я знаю как сказат много слово па-Рувкий. Однако, я думаю, что это нормалный!

OK, that's done! Good!

Last night, when we got back дом, we discovered that the sisters in our district had taken have of our beds! Needless to say, we were surprised! Better yet, they did it by swapping my key with one of theirs at gym! My key! So now I don't have a key anymore because the other elders won't give them back their key. So that's a thing.

On Sunday's temple walk, we met this little boy with autism who really loved languages and geography, and he saw that our name-tags were Russian, and he ran up to us and started yelling "привет!" (Informal Russian hello). It was pretty much the cutest thing in the world. He told us his name in Russian, and he asked for our names in Russian. It was adorable. His dad was pretty cool, he takes him to the temple every Sunday so that he can speak to missionaries in their mission languages. He said that it helps with his conversation skill. It's super cool!

On Monday we watched Richard G. Scott's funeral. It was a really nice service. I'm super excited for General Conference this weekend; THREE NEW APOSTLES! Maybe. Most likely. Three spots open at least, we'll see how many are called.

Other than that, nothing has really happened that was noteworthy. The devotionals this week were nice.

Покой!

(That's 'Peaceful' in Russian. We sort of use it to mean peace. It's not correct, but... It's fun to say)

 Elder Robison with Sister Robison! Stirling and his cousin Brylee together at the MTC.

The Fourth Week

The First Book of Stirling

Chapter 4

Many strange things come to pass as District 22 continues their learnings. Many goodnesses are witnessed by the people. Great progress is made in the language. District 10 is stir-crazy.

1. It has been save but one Moon since I began my journey. I, Stirling, do venture to tell you somewhat of content of these, my days, for it is pleasing unto me that I should share the things which are given to me with all those that will hearken unto my writing.

2. Yea, and I, Stirling, being few of days, nevertheless being very blessed in all things by the Lord, do endeavor to make known these tales, though I am not mighty in writing like I am in word.

3. And it came to pass that we have seen great contention with our brothers, Branch 10, for they are stirred up in their hearts against us for boredom.

4. Yea, and it came to pass that they did toss down forks, and spoons, and all manner of silverware and other strange items.

5. Yea, and they did toss these items with great force from the fourth floor of our home.

6. And it came to pass that in the very same hour these things were thrown, a messenger went forth from amongst our people who did pick up the red emergency phone and call upon the administrative desk.

7. Yea, and the administrative desk did succor us, and send us aid in the form of campus security.

8. And it happened that the campus security could find not our brethren, for we knew not their names.

9. Nevertheless, we were protected from having to bring down wrath upon our brethren, for which we were thankful.

10. And it came to pass that many lessons were taught in those days, and much Russian was learned, that the Elders and Sisters of 22J did grow in the Lord to a greater understanding of the Russian language.

11. But, behold! There were some who were discouraged in their hearts, for they were fearful that they might not progress in the language.

12. Nevertheless, all were lifted up, and edified by our teachers unto the fulfillment of their learnings.

13. And many things were learned.

14. And it came to pass that I, Stirling, did learn many words, that my brethren were exceedingly astonished at my knowledges.

15. And I did come to know these things by trusting in the Lord.

16. Yea, and so it is in all things that when we trust upon the Lord, we will do many things which shall be strange and wondrous.

17. And it came to pass that I did kneel in prayer before the Lord, my God, and offer my thanks unto Him in all things.

18. And all this did come to pass that the 3rd week was ended.

19. Behold! Upon the Sunday of the 4th week we did lift up our voices in praise to the Lord Almighty! And our hearts were greatly uplifted by the words which were spoken to us by Lloyd Newell!

20. And it did come to pass that I, Stirling, was released from my calling as District Leader.

21. Behold! Our brother, Elder Arave, was called in my stead, that he might lead the district in righteousness.

22. And there was much rejoicing in the goodness of the Lord.

23. Yea, and It came to pass that I, Stirling, did find my cousin, Sister Robison, and there was much rejoicing in the reunion of family that day.

24. And it did come to pass that on the Monday of the 4th week, our people were stirred up in great alarm.

25. For behold! By the work of a prank, an English-speaking Elder did partake of 24 laxatives.

26. And we were sore afraid.

27. Yea, and we feared for the health of that brother, who we knew not. And we did search for him continually until we did find him.

28. And it came to pass that he was taken away to be cared for, and I know not of his fate.

29. And it came to pass on Tuesday of the 4th week we did again lift up our voices in praise.

30. Yea, and I did speak unto my brethren many words, and did quote to them from the Book of Alma.

31. Yea, and I spake unto them these words:

32. "And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just - yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them- Therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God."

33. Yea, and my brethren and sisters did also speak much of the goodness of God, and of the things of the Spirit, which they had gained strong testimony.

34. And I make an end of my record for now, being short of time in which to write upon these electronic plates.

It's Week Three! Or Something... I Think?

So, Russian is great. Have I said that already? Because it's really great. Russian grammar time! (It's funnier than it sounds, trust me)

In Russian, to possess something requires the genitive case of a noun. This changes the word to mean "of the word". For example, Batman in the genitive case is Batmana "of Batman". This gets better when you see that the Russian word for poster is Vatman. So, a poster belonging to Batman is a 'Vatman Batmana', a "Poster of Batman". As you can see, that's a wee bit ambiguous. Is it Batman's poster, is it a poster with Batman on it? Never fear! Russian has found a way around this!

In order to remove the confusion, we can turn Batman into an adjective, "Batmanski".

This means that Batman's Batman poster is "Batmanski vatman Batmana"!

And this is why I love Russian!

I decided I'd write another poem as well:

Where, o where is thy salvation?

Across the many waters, a rising nation

A land of promise for thy sons

But the strife and wars, already begun

Fly for your life from a brother's sword

For thee and thy house, thou wilt serve the Lord

Raise up a people in truth and power

and look for salvation in every hour

Now their armies are gathered, innumerable host

Clash on your borders like waves on a coast

But scatter them quickly like night before day

and remember you fathers who showed you the way

Rise up false prophet and call for a sign

Mix lie with truth in cunning design

Now fall to your knees, your falsehood is done

and witness The Christ, God's own Son

Stop in your hunting, kneel now in prayer

Wrestle for freedom from evil's snare

And ask not for yourself, but for love of your brother

For salvation that comes with great care from another

******************************************************************

Whoever guesses what story is being told here gets 15 Missionary points, redeemable in 2 years for like... a piece of chocolate or something... I dunno.

Anyway, things are going pretty great here! Our district is awesome!

Slava Ukraine!

It's Week 2!

Hey everybody! It's been pretty crazy this week! But it's also been really good!

I was sick yesterday. Like really sick. It was the worst, I hated it. But I'm feeling a lot better today, so that's good!

I realized I didn't say anything about my companion last week. His name is Elder Fuller, and he's from Austin, TX. We don't really get along well. We hardly ever get along at all. But we teach well, so at least there's that. Plus, it's not like I have to spend the rest of my mission with the same companion. I can do anything for 9 weeks.

I'm here for 9 weeks, by the way. Just thought I'd make that clear. 9 weeks.

It's pretty rigid scheduling here, I wake up at 6:30, eat breakfast, and then I go to 3 different 3 hour class blocks. We learn Russian pretty much all day, and I try to speak what I can of it. It's not much, but it's a start.

I bought a small journal on Saturday that I could write notes and poems and spiritual thoughts in. It's been nice because we have an hour before bed that we can write in our journals and I don't always have a lot to say about what happens during the day. Plus, there's a 15 minute quiet time before bed that we're supposed to use to... I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do with it, actually. So there's that.

Wrote a cool poem though:

I saw the tyrant fall

Heard the triumph call

I watched as they led him away

I saw a prophet born

Heard the sinners mourn

I watched him teach them how to pray

I saw the city rise

Heard the world made wise

I watched them all be led astray

I heard the bells toll forth

and this, they said was just another day

I saw them build a tower

Heard them boast of power

Then watched them scatter like the sands

I saw them choose their kings

Heard them worship things

I watched them eating up the lands

I saw a kingdom grow

Heard all they sought to know

I watched them strengthening their hands

I heard the bells toll forth

and this, they said was just another day

****************************************************

It's not finished yet, but it's a good start.

I've been learning to sing in Russian too! It's super difficult!

Anyway, sorry for the lack of pictures, it's hard to get them on these computers. I'll try to send some soon! Hopefully...

Slava Ukraine!

My First Week at the MTC

I've been here in Provo for a week. So far my training is going really well! Russian is quite... difficult. But I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job at learning it.

Last night we had a devotional from Elder Dallin H. Oaks! I was in the room with Dallin H. Oaks!

For my non-church friends, that probably doesn't mean anything so I'll explain a little bit. Back when Jesus was performing his mortal ministry he called twelve apostles. Peter, James, John... those guys. They served to help in officiating and guiding the church in those first days, especially after Christ's death. In our church, we believe in the same organization, a prophet with twelve apostles to guide and administrate the church and prevent the corruption of the plain and simple truths of our church.

TL;DR: An apostle is a really cool guy with a lot of authority from God who helps lead the church in the modern day.

And I got  to hear him speak. In person. With a message that was directed at missionaries, something I just so happen to be. (editor's note: Stirling also was a part of the choir that got to sing at the meeting with Elder Oaks!)

Anyway, This week has gone by in kind of a blur, and I don't remember many specifics. My district (the people who are in my training group) are super cool.

By the way, I was called to be the district leader of my district! Don't know why that was a 'by the way'... That should have been first on the list...

I miss all of you! And Slava Ukraine!

Destiny dropping Stirling off at the Missionary Training Center!

 By the way (this is an actual by the way, not a fake one like earlier)! My mailing address for the next 2 months is:

Elder Stirling Douglas Robison

OCT27 UKR-DNE

2009 N E Unit 151

Provo UT 84602

So if anybody wanted to send, like, I don't know... Snack foods... American/Ukrainian flags... bottle of Sprite... Stuff like that...

Yeah, that'd be nice...

Nothing perishable though! That'd bad... Yeah...

stirling.robison@myldsmail.net

On Dnepropetrovsk

 That's D-ne-prop-ye-trov-sk for those of us who aren't familiar with Ukrainian. If I never learn another word in Russian, at least I'll be able to say where I'm supposed to be. Днепропетро́вск is how it is spelled in Russian, so be thankful you get to read it in English!

I can't wait to get to Ukraine and serve the people there. Hopefully my time in the MTC will be as short as possible. Of course, that's a double-edged sword; the less time in the MTC, the less proficient I will be at speaking Russian! I hope that I learn quickly.

As I'm writing this, it's my last day in San Antonio. I'll miss home, I'm sure, but right now I only want  to be on my way as expediently as humanly possible. It was nice having one last hot summer before I get sent to a place with actual seasons.

I love you all!